On my November Happiness Project roadmap, under Acts of Love, you would find this quote “Date Like in the Beginning” written in the number one slot.
My reason for committing to this action step was – in a round about way – due to the second law of thermodynamics. If – like me, you aren’t science savvy – allow me to offer a refresher.
The second law of thermodynamics, also known as the law of increased entropy, states that over time, everything breaks down and tends towards disorder.
Let me paraphrase and explain this fact in more simple terms: unless we are purposeful in our relationships, over time, they tend to break down.
In the Beginning
I will narrow this law even further, with our love relationships, we get lazy and complacent as time passes.
At the beginning of a new relationship, we expend a considerable amount of energy. Everything is fresh and exciting.
However, humans being the way they are, as a relationship becomes established, the natural tendency is to go from expounding a massive amount of energy amount to barely a trickle.
This state of starvation can be – and sadly, often is – a relationship killer.
This means that while the initial burst of attention cannot be sustained long-term, neither is privation a recommended option. A happy medium needs to be found between feast and famine.
Therefore, my intention behind “Date like in the Beginning” was three folds:
- Firstly, I longed to be more intentional in my marriage
- Secondly, I yearned to infuse my relationship with some new, nurturing, life-giving, and fun energy.
- Thirdly, I desired to let my soul mate know how much a love AND cherish him.
My husband is a firefighter and works 24 hours shifts. Therefore, he gets out of work very early in the morning.
My plan for our surprise November date was as follows: get up very early, get ready, drive into town (we are located 30 minutes from the uppermost limit of town), and meet Hubby for breakfast.
The only problem I foresaw with my plan was that hubs likes to bike 40+ miles from the upper part of town to his station. A trek he repeats the following day from the station to his waiting car. He then drives 30 minutes home.
I never know if he will bike or drive. This was an important piece of my plan as this would affect my departure time. He obviously travels quicker by gasoline-powered-car than leg-powered-bicycle.
Saturday, around 6:30 am, my cell phone beeped indicating hubby had texted me (I have a special notification tone for him).
His message read: “safe at work. I love you.”
Being quite astute, this is the very moment I realized that when he bikes, my loving husband – knowing I worry about him – always lets me know he made it in one piece to the fire station.
That’s when the light-bulb went off in my cerebellum. I decided Sunday would be “The Day.” I would meet hubby after his ride, in the parking lot where he leaves his car.
Surprise Breakfast Date
Sunday morning at dawn, I got up, showered and dressed.
I even took special attention to the little things. For example, I am not a jewelry person. I literally wear the same earrings most of the time. I often only change them for special occasions like weddings. A date with hubby qualified as a special occasion so I changed my earrings to pearls.
I brought a change of clothes for my beloved in case he did not have one, I grabbed a bottle of his preferred brand of water knowing he would be thirsty after his long ride, and left.
As I got closer to my rendezvous point, I became more and more excited.
I pulled into the parking lot, and my heart sank, no car, no hubby.
Did I miss him?
Did he park somewhere else?
Gasp! Was he on his way home?
Where is Hubby?
I called his cell – twice – which went to voice mail.
After my initial panic, my mind cleared enough for me to wonder where he would have parked if he did not go to his usual spot. I figured he may have stationed the car in the lot of the grocecy store down the street. I pointed my car in that direction.
As I pulled into that parking lot, my cell phone rang heralding a call from the man himself.
“You’re looking for me?”
The fact that he would ask this very question surprised me. Was he home already and our daughter had told him I went into to town to meet him? Was he onto me?
At the same time he’d said those words, I’d spotted his car. He proceeded to share with me he had gone to the grocery store to pick up a few items.
I parked my vehicle behind his and made a bee-line inside the store while he made small talk. I landed right behind him as he turned.
The look of surprise on his face was precious.
“What are you doing here?”
“Am taking you to breakfast!”
Before I knew it, I was engulfed in his arms, my head resting on his heart.
He couldn’t stop smiling and hugging me, and then he said:
“I don’t know what my love language is but this is IT!”
And THAT my friends, these genuine words coming from his heart made the whole date planning worth it.
Date Like in the Beginning
Yes, we enjoyed an amazing breakfast, and we talked for hours, long past the time our food was savored. Indeed precious memories were made.
Serendipity, or whimsy as Bob Goff states it. Just a little bit of magic. Either way, I like it.
Willingness, openness, mindfulness, and love do create more happiness.
Now, what will I scheme for next month?