The time has come to share my November Happiness Project themes.
At first glance, you may discover my topic to be a bit random. While I only worked on one central issue during October, I have settled on a different approach for the rest of my Happiness Project.
If you are curious about the reason for my change of plan as well as my brainstorming process, this blog post will give you a more in-depth explanation.
November Themes and Actions Steps
The actions steps I will be focusing on this month fall under the following themes:
This topic is obviously about hubby.
My action steps are as follows:
1. Say Yes
I started working on this aspect last month which I understand is cheating—naughty me.
Most often, my answer to my hubby’s spur of the moment invitations is a resounding no. I profess no good reasons for this fact. I believe most of the time, I can’t muster the energy to deal with all the ramifications of unpremeditated dates (even if it’s just to Home Depot).
Questions invariably start swirling in my head upon receiving an invitation. Do I have any appointments? Who will watch my youngest kiddos? What will the kids eat? I am in the middle of something I don’t want to stop, etc. The logistics of being a home engineer aka Mom has driven my “fun gene” into dormancy. I have decided it’s high time to revive it.
2. Date Like in the Beginning
It’s a fact, at the beginning of a new love relationship, we put a lot more thought into our actions and words, as well as our dates. Hubs and I have gotten a tad shall we say rusty? We usually give our patronage to the same few restaurants (mostly two).
For this reason, I have decided to come up with a new and unexpected idea for one date per month.
3. Give Words of Praise and Gratefulness
I think this step is self-explanatory.
Random thought: I will add one last point, no expectations! I will do these things for myself, and I will remember my commandments!
Only one action step in this category: have more fun (play, read, etc.)
Abe: I have an adopted child and Abe is not his real name. However, this is the name I will use to protect his privacy.
Abe has FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) and some attachment issues. Being a parent to a child with special needs is never easy. Parenting a child with bonding issues makes a hard job even harder. Kids who lack secure attachments are a bit off socially, they are also deficient in compassion, and are usually “self-centered” making it difficult for the individuals who interact with them. These mental and emotional issues also make it difficult for them to enter society as productive and caring members. For these reasons, I would love for Abe to heal.
Over the course of many years, we have tried many different therapies, and I personally get quite frustrated with the lack of progress (if any). Honestly, the lack of compassion scares me. Sometimes, I just want to give myself permission to quit. This feeling usually doesn’t last long, and I recover. Working on my Happiness Project has given me a renewed hope and desire to work with Abe.
I am not entirely clear yet on my actions steps concerning Abe for this month. I have a few in mind. I must take baby steps so that both Abe and I can sustain the journey.
If you want to know why I included self-acceptance in my Project, this blog post may be helpful.
I will treat myself as a friend: No negative talk about myself or my body and no comparing myself to anyone.
Most mothers – or maybe all women – usually discover the importance of self-care after a total burn out. I am no exception as I learned my lesson the hard way, and as a result, I aim to mindfully practice self-care.
1. Keep a Log of my likes
I am not always sure I pay attention to the things and activities which nourish me. I won’t keep a formal log or a running mental one.
2. Take Ten
Daily, I will take a few minutes to sustain myself with something which makes me pause AND which gives me joy: read a book, lay down and breathe, have a cup of tea on the porch, sit still and listen to nature sounds, whatever.
Plan one nourishing activity.
November Happiness Project Themes
Before choosing and sharing my action steps, I did ask myself if maybe I selected too many of them.
During October, I did come to the conclusion I could have split my action steps over a couple of months, and I wasn’t eager to repeat this error.
Clearly, I still have ten months to the completion of my Happiness Project, and my intention is not to burn out and quit. However, I am quite confident there is a significant difference between last month and this month’s action steps.
In October, all my action steps involved daily activities.This month—November—the majority of my planned actions are a one time deal or at the very least a not-every-day-step.
I am looking forward to reporting on my progress with this experiment.